WARNING. A VERY BITTER AND ANGRY POST UP AHEAD. SO IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO DAMPEN YOUR SPIRITS AND HOPES IN THIS SHITTY WORLD, THEN YOU BETTER STEER AWAY. ALSO. IF YOU'RE THE TYPE OF PERSON WHO WILL SLIT YOUR WRISTS AT THE SLIGHTEST INSTIGATION OF BAD THINGS TO COME, YOU BETTER STEER AWAY TOO.

i just can't bloody hold this in anymore.

( angry and bitter )

on a slightly happier note. i can't find my prom dress. i WAS considering a flapper sorta dress, but i think that may be a little hard to find. i'm considering these 2 dresses. yes i know, toga-ish. but i just love the pastel colours.





or i might look to lookbook.nu for some inspiration. not much time left...

OK. so this shall be a really quick post, i promise.

i'm considering getting a new LJ because the fact that this particular LJ won't let me use RICHTEXT to post is bloody irritating!

anyway went to a wedding dinner today! it was quite nice, for once me and my mom were seated with close(r) relatives! so unlike awkward 'sitting there', look at me look at you kinda stuff, we were talking and laughing and having a rather good time! dad had to go to his cousin's wedding dinner (must've been a good date) so he wasn't there...

right! so on to more important stuff.

I GOT A NEW KEYBOARD TODAY!!! can you say woohoo?? I CAN! *woooohoooooooooooo!*

haha really happy about it. (: but i was out the whole day so i haven't had the chance to play with it yet. looking forward to it though! and i'm also looking forward to recording, composing and stuff. and practising. yes!

now i have another instrument to join my family of instruments! since i've already named my guitar and my ukulele i decided to name this keyboard. and then i thought my piano (which is NOT in my room) might feel a little left out, so i decided to subsequently name my piano.

READY? my keyboard's name is... *cue drum roll!*....... IVORY!! well it's kinda silvery and white-ish, but i thought a name like snow or whatever would be sorta cliched, so i figured ivory would be a nice name. (: as for my piano, it's name is.... EBONY! hahaa! get it? ebony and ivory!!! YES! that paul mccartney/stevie wonder song!!! PLUS it helps that both of them have a keyboard-ish, ebony and ivory shape thing. :D so cute right? plus my piano is black, but a name like blackie would be kinda lame(sorry eric clapton!) so ebony was obviously better.

WOOHOO. i'm not going to name my harmonica, that's taking this WAY to far.

so excluding my harmonica, my instrument family now consists of (in no particular order)...

LAYLA the acoustic guitar
CHOCO the ukulele
EBONY the piano
IVORY the electric keyboard.

SUPER HAPPY. ((: next stop, i'm going to get my (cheap) bass and my Gibson Les Paul electric guitar. since most of my instruments have kinda girly names i thought i'd give them something a little creative, but cool names. i'm considering naming them something like Kennedy, Lincoln or Roosevelt(after the US presidents). HAHA pretty darned cool eh. though i haven't had a definitive name for them yet. i think i'll have to see how they look.

if i get an electric acoustic (no idea what brand, but i'm considering an epiphone texan) then i'll name in Martin Luther or something like that. some really inspirational name.

OR i might name them after the surnames of the beatles boys. Lennon, Macca (not McCartney! or maybe not...), Harrison, Starkey (not starr, i don't think.)

that's a pretty good idea.

OMB i started to rant. :O and now my post is really long. haha i'm sorry, but that happens a lot.

uhm. i've had a really strong egging feeling to perform at any opportunity i get. I admit, i can be pretty shy and stuff, but hey! i love music, and i'm sure i'll love performing. i mean, i only get 3-5 minutes to let people hear what i have to offer! shouldn't i jump at the chance? either that or i gotta get the hang of it. i'm considering asking serene if there're any available slots for me to slip in a song. not sure! it's just a consideration.

alrightie gotta end this post.

ADIEU!

can totally CONFIRM that LJ is screwing with me. URGH. irritating. now i don't know how i'm gonna do LJ cuts and stuff like that because Rich text is screwing with me!

don't tell me that i'll have to switch blogs again! because that is plain irritating. ):

anyway! i think i've lost the habit of blogging after not blogging for so long. i no longer feel an urge to blog! nvm, i shall kick into it eventually.

waiting for my ANTM video to load...

so, quick update on my holiday-non-schooling life. been playing a SUPERB amount of Sims 3, which i love. haha maybe a little too much, so i abstained today. or to be exact, yesterday.

CUE BEATLES!!

*Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away...*

sorry, i tend to do that. ok so i watched videos today! started off watching beloved nanny fine!


WARNING ANTM CONTENT AHEAD! SKIP IF UNINTERESTED.

then i started to watch ANTM cycle 13, and BOY it is awesome. i'm about to finish ep 9!! so i'm nearing the end. so far, i LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE nicole, she is awesome. FULL STOP. seriously! she reminds me of a prettier, younger, more updated sarah jessica parker. or maybe it's just me.

i didn't really take to Laura at first, because i didn't find her VERY pretty, but she's so sweet and funny that i can't help but like her. and she photographs SO beautifully! looks totally different. i think Jen's nice too! though typically speaking she totally embodies the ideal that some people have of asians. small, slit eyes, flat-ish nose... but she's still very beautiful. though at times i found that she photographed like a stale fish. sorry.

i am really annoyed at erin, right now. i mean WHAT is her problem? she's such a whiner. seriously. nobody likes a whiner!

i cannot stand kara, thank heavens she got booted! she's so bloody obnoxious and jealous of nicole! obviously. it's not nicole's fault she's better than you, it's your fault that you're not good enough as her! why must she be so upset that nicole won(the challenge) and not be upset with herself for not being the very best there is? complete attitude of a sore loser. which is a pain in the butt.

i REALLY hope that nicole wins. i want her to win! and i think she deserves to win, though we'll have to wait and see... though she's been REALLY strong so far. all except for one semi-bad week (though she still had a good photo), her port folio thus far is looking AMAZING!

END ANTM CONTENT!!

so watching this cycle where all the girls are 'short', made me feel SUPER short. because sundai is supposed to be the shortest girl, but she's taller than me i think!! if i'm not wrong, she's around 159cm, which is taller than me. so i'm feeling terribly short here! and to me, they're all quite tall as it is. of course things are different in the modelling world, but... oh well. i just hate being short. )):

enough self pity!

i wanted to blog something but i forgot. oh snap! uuuhhhhmmmm. ok i have no idea what i wanted to blog.

oh, i've been juggling between getting a synthesizer or a keyboard! i'm in a total dilemma about this. one's better than the other (obviously the synth) but it's harder to work, and it can't work without a computer. which might not be very awesome. and it's more expensive. YET it really makes the whole recording and writing process a lot easier.

i'm planning to go shop for my les paul and bass on friday, though we'll see how that goes. went out to flea market on sunday with teri, and it was AWESOME. got a beatles tee, pretty vintage bag and other accessories. though my FAVE buy of the day was this indian button up in turqoise! it has little bells on it, and intricate buttons, and even more intricate prints. and how much did it cost? 8 FRIGGIN' BUCKS. talk about a good buy!!

going out with corinne tomorrow! think we're going to go shopping for prom dresses and other stuff. i'm thinking of a flapper sorta dress, which is just really flowy but not too long... though i'm gonna have to look into it. EGG-CITING!

alrightie. gotta go watch antm. i know it was a long post. whatever!

Ok. i think that LJ has gone a bit mad...

ANYWAY!! *cue* I'M BAAAAAAAAACK!!

haha i don't care if you just groaned inwardly or cheered or whatever. not that it matters! hoho! i have returned to the blogosphere. i left quietly and returned quietly. aren't i just the stealthiest little person.

anyway! FINALLY the O's have ended. PRAISE THE HEAVENS!

Before, I thought it would never come. Then it did. And then I thought it would never end. And it did. Now, I think that the holidays will never end. But they will...and i just know that they'll be over bloody fast. shitty, but that's just the cruel truth.

Ok. About the O's. I think i screwed it up. )): like seriously! i got zero confidence in any of my papers. ARGH. especially sciences. I'm honestly quite scared that i'll get like more than 8. or worse! MORE THAN 10. i will just shrivel up and die if that happens. ok not literally, but figuratively. the only paper that i SORTA liked was the free writing for english. i liked my compo! hope the examiner likes it as much as i did. i'm gonna try to rewrite it. and i don't care if you call me a geek for it!

before the exams were OFFICIALLY ended, i refused to make any judgement, because i didn't want to quit when the war wasn't over yet. now that the war is over, i think it's safe to pass judgement. and my judgement is that... I will cry for all the wrong reasons that day. )):

enough about the negatives, please!

I am going to enjoy a short, temporary, super powerful, highly explosive bout of HAPPINESS!! at least until the day where i get my ugly result slip back.

SO enough depressing stuff. i'm not gonna pity myself anymore, there's no point. I need to enjoy this break!!

ok, after exams today, went out to semi celebrate! i actually don't feel that superbly happy. but i'm convinced that it will strike eventually. i'm probably just a late bloomer.

hurm. i saw a pair of really really nice shoes at Lee Cooper! SUPER NICE. i want it, man. :D i've been thinking about it non-stop! saw a beatles tee, but i don't think it's really THAT nice. i mean, i already have 4 beatles shirts. though, as i always say, you can never have enough beatles! butbutbut it was kinda expensive, so i have a feeling i'm not going to get it.

AND my parent's are super awesome. me dad came home with my new phone! i've been wanting it for the LONGEST TIME! Nokia said it would be released in the third quarter of the year. -.- but it was released like last week or something? lame shit. anyway, that's beside the point. superduperduper happy!! i told my dad i wanted it, but totally didn't expect him to give it to me the very day that the exams ended. THANKS DADDY!!! :D and my mom may buy me my keyboard!! CAN YOU SAY AWESOME? yes you can! so say it!! "AWESOME!" yesyesyes, now i can have more money to get my guitars. SO NICE OF THEM!!! seriously, i'm super grateful to have my supportive parents. (:

At first, i thought i would work during the break, but I don't think I will. I mean, I'm still young, so what's the rush? it's not like i need to feed myself right now. Considering that i'm young, i want to volunteer and LEARN. going to pick up french. i don't care how! i will!! and i'm going to learn the bass! yesssss. awesomeness. i also want a gibson les paul and a new acoustic. Layla is kinda bulky. :X

Of course, I'll also take the time off to write more songs and polish my songwriting skills.

I'm gonna volunteer at SPCA! definitely. though it's not a one time thing, you have to volunteer like once every fortnight i think. but i can afford the time! i mean, now the only thing i'm concentrating on is piano. because i'm taking my theory exams next march me thinks.

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY! I AM GOING TO ENJOY MYSELF! i'm going to shop till i drop, and i'm going to buy new instruments, i'm going to eat good food, listen to good music, and LIVE LIFE. free as a bird~~

*cue The Beatles!*

"Freeeee as a bird..."

haha i bet you didn't know they wrote a song called free as a bird. super appropriately. it was taken from an unfinished song of John's, then the rest of the boys finished it up. it really is a good song!

AS I WAS SAYING (i keep deviating, don't i?) I'm gonna play super a lot of games. gonna play sims 3 till i faint! and i'm looking forward to the release of Dante's Inferno next feb. looks like a bloody good game! super hyped.

just for the sake of it, i'm going to put up a plan of what i want to do.. :D

1. Go shopping!
2. Buy Gibson Les Paul!
3. Learn how to play the bass
4. Learn FRENCH
5. Volunteer at SPCA
6. Compose more music
7. Play like a mad monkey
8. COOK!

yeah, i've been having an obsession with cooking. i'm going to cook more veggie foods. my maid doesn't cook the best stir fried veg to be honest. super duper salty. *gag*

ok! now i have to go play sims 3. :D

FREEDOM IS SWEET! *though guilt-free freedom would be sweeter. i wish i studied harder! :/*

ok. i haven't posted in a while, and i want to keep it this way for a while.

school's ended, blahblahblah.... i REALLY need to stop deviating from studying. like SERIOUSLY. i have got to get my game on....

SO i'm going on a hiatus! until 13 november.

not like my posts are very entertaining or whatever. let's face it, they're all words, and they're pretty longish. won't be surprised if anyone misses my posts....

but if you, oddly enough, do miss them... GO CHECK OUT MY TWITTER! i update almost everyday so yay.

bye bye, until the O's end. see you13th november, folks.

WISH ME LUCK, PLEASE!

GOING ON A HIATUS...

TILL THE O'S END! (WISH ME LUCK!)

alrightie. so i'm supposed to be studying 'the atmosphere and environment' right now. i'll get right to it. i am NOT going to bed until i finish this chapter. i will perservere!!!

anyway. next week is what? my last official week of school!

WOAH, WAIT WHAT?

i know i posted something about this before, but the closer it is, the more impending it seems.

of course i'm glad to be having the extra 2 weeks off, who wouldn't be. but still... it's kinda crazy. i'm growing up!

there's the graduation ceremony too! no clue when that is, but i know it'll be really, really boring. trust me! ok i really don't have much to blog here.

the F1 qualifying rounds today! i've kinda lost interest in F1 (as compared to when i was a kid, at least) since all the hype's been built around it ever since it came to singapore. before that, barely any singaporean i knew seemed to care! now everyone's like 'OH the F1! i'm so excited! i loooove F1....'! maybe everyone liked it before, i don't know, but right now it's become so....popular. yikes. whenever something is too hyped up i suddenly lose interest. i don't know. maybe it's just me.

unless you're talking about music! there, i only care about quality. (:

anyway! I'M DEVIATING. this is supposed to be about my 'graduation'!

ok fine. i've posted enough about that before.

YESTERDAY! i went for the midautumn festival with pamela, teri, venus, pf, gen and jx! vanessa left early on and joan just didn't show. ): shame on you, joan! haha it was awesome. opened with a boom(literally!!)! one of the lights exploded! INCREDIBLE! i think it overheated or something. loud 'boom' and then it caught a brief fire. ultimate coolness!

there were some pretty good performances! wushu was cool, dr boon was singing (wow! not bad...) and HIGHLIGHT OF THE FREAKIN' EVENING!

jabbawockeez-esque dancers! i can't remember who they were. someone told me but i just can't remember. so they had on white masks, black pants and shirt and a red tie! white shoes too. so jabbawockeez, right!

so they did some stuff that jabbawockeez performed before, just briefly though. PYT and apologize. plus their own mix. SO SMOOTH! and their michael jackson moves were epic. WOOHOO! i love it. and teri says/commented that once she's mastered the moonwalk she'll show me. i'll be waiting, teri! :DD

and ohoh, so cool. rmb how i was saying i wanted a lantern? WELL! a lantern FELL FROM THE SKY! technically, it dropped off from the overhead bridge (is that what it's called? connecting bridge, maybe?) and rolled onto the ground! ran over to get it. I TELL YOU, IT WAS MEANT TO BE!!! then we swiped a stick to hold it with. got a candle from my junior (thanks a million, sean!!) and got a fire going thanks to her and her class. yessss. so all my lantern stuff were borrowed. heh. in a way. IT WAS FUN, NONETHELESS!!

so it was one awesome, epic night. (: i had a ton of fun. i love my friends! (& THAT is why i'll be sad to leave. D:)

Ok real quick post. going to study bio/chem. for real!

a little irritated that i'll be missing avatar: the last airbender later. i have math tuition. MATH STRIKES AGAIN! eep!

anyway. have i mentioned my obsession with avatar the last airbender? it is FREAKIN' AWESOME!!! best cartoon ever. EPIC! i wish that i could bend air too. DD: then i can make it nice and windy. of course, i'd have other powers too. OH WAIT NO. i'd want to bend water. then i can make snow. HAHA.

as i was saying, avatar's gonna have a live action movie! as you might know, the characters in avatar are pretty much all asian. and yes, don't say they 'look' white, because dude.... who're you kidding? what about the live action movie? well, most of the actors cast for the movie are freakin' white! WHAT?! so irritating. apparently, this wasn't an accident (well, not in that sense...). while casting, they had apparantly asked for 'caucasian or other ethnicities'. talk about anti asian. i might even call the casters racist. i mean, it's not like there's a shortage of asians out there. so why is it that they don't want to cast asians? TERRIBLE. although the reason i like avatar isn't because they're asian, this is just too disrespectful! both to the show, and to asians. and therefore, i am affected! because i'm a fan of the show, and i'm asian. yes, yes i may complain about being asian... but still! it's my race, and part of who i am, and it's terrible that people should discriminate against us! TERRIBLE!

and this isn't the first time. in the dragon ball movie, goku was portrayed by a CAUCASIAN actor. and goku's the hero! what are they trying to say? subliminal message? that whites are better?! (well in terms of looks, maybe... but apart from that... NO!) hollywood is just so.... anti asian! how many asian actors have made it in hollywood?! barely any. just speaks for itself.

and only prince zuko(avatar... the fire nation prince that's an antagonist at first) is played by an asian! but still i think the casting is a little weird. dev patel of slumdog millionare fame for a chinese looking prince? something's not quite right there. and CLEAR SUBLIMINAL MESSAGE!! casting an asian for the antagonist while the good guys are all played by white actors? COME ON! it's not very subtle. there's a pretty obvious subliminal message right there.

so... i am definitely going to be boycotting the live action movie. it's just downright disrespectful.

on another note, there's the mid-autumn festival celebrations tomorrow. it's my last year so i guess i'll be going. PRATA FOR DINNER! yesssssssssssss!!! awesome. (: i shall go get a paper lantern. (might just swipe one of those that're hanging around the school.... why waste them?)

and... ok i don't have anything else to say. in actuality this post was typed pretty quickly! why? because i'm a fast typer. well not THAT fast, but you get my drift. and i'm just typing as i think so i'm not really stopping. so in that context, this is a quick post.

faretheewell!

just came to a shocking realisation.

i tweeted it, i facebook-ed it, and now i shall blog/livejournal it.

my last day of school is coming in just 2 weeks. or at least, my last OFFICIAL day of school. after that, it's free and easy for me till the o levels start. good god. so, technically... my last day of school is in 2 weeks.

i seriously cannot believe it. i mean, it just feels like yesterday that everything just started. that i had my first day of school, when i first joined council and softball... and now that i've had closure with 2 of those... the time to close the big book is coming! WOAH. really overwhelming.

it's terrifying, actually. i mean, school just started what... this week? and the end is already at sight. then it's the big mountain.

*kick in the end by the beatles*

'and in the end, the love you take... is equals to the love.... you make...' *cue guitar*

holy BEATLE. i can't believe it. i mean. it's time to say goodbye? or well, almost. i'm going to graduate. shit, i can't grasp this. i'm actually graduating.

they say that you shouldn't be too sure about how you're going to react to something. (i have no clue who 'they' is, btw. it's just a generalisation.) for the longest time, i was so sure that i'd kiss the ground when this day would come. and now, i'm finding it... scary, relieving, somewhat confusing and.... difficult. talk about a plethora. but... i truly am finding it tough to reach the end of secondary school 'life'. the end's so near, that it's daunting.

maybe it's the fact that i don't quite want to say goodbye to all my friends, to possibly be unable to see them everyday again and fool around, eat together, and just sit there and talk on ends about everything. but i guess, that it's also because i'm going to have to say goodbye to a WAY OF LIFE. i know i say i hate it, but i guess that that was the degree of normalcy. and putting an end to it is kinda.... tough. i mean, holidays are different. you know you're going back. you know you have to. so there's nothing to lose. as scout said, one does not love breathing. (yeah, yeah i'm a nerd.) i guess you only treasure/hold on to it when the threat of losing it is there. even if you hate it, i guess.  i mean school life had it's perks, i won't deny that. though, i do think i would change my school FROM THE START if i could, i think that once you've been through the whole thing, you sorta grow attached. it's like a leech. it's stuck on you, even though it's not the best thing in the world for you.

i'll miss friends, teachers, council, softball.... normalcy. a way of life. and that way of life is going to change. i suppose it's normal for anyone to feel frightened. change is always accompanied with fear... uncertainty. how will life be like after this? will i lose contact with all my friends and all my teachers?

i pray that  it won't be so.

aside from the end, i wanna tell this to anyone who feels bad about their prelims (including myself).

even though you might not have done well this time... you know, you can still catch up, if you put your ENTIRE HEART, SOUL AND TIME into this. just 5 more weeks. 38 days(i think.). if you give up now... wouldn't that be sad? that you decide your fate before you even reach the finish line? giving up equates to failure. so don't let yourself fail without giving it a shot. even if you don't do well in the end, at least you can say that you did what you could, but it just wasn't enough. but what if you gave up? all the regret... don't regret, man! regret is the worst feeling in the world, so let's all avoid it as far as possible.

start now! before it's too late!

good luck, mates.

HELLO! i didn't take pictures, sorry. a little lazy. teehee! :D

i feel like such a house rat, staying at home all day. i haven't stepped out of the house in... 3 days! WOW-ZA!! that's pretty crazy. STIR CRAZY.

anyway, with the recent world wide beatles releases and beatle mania, i've realised something. that the way i talk these days (alright, i'll admit. kinda eccentric and unorthodox.), i mean like my phrasing and all that boogaloo is actually a lot like how the beatle boys talked! :DDD so woohoo for me! (: yes, i guess i'm a true blue fan. IN YOUR FACE, POSERS! :P

i don't care if you think i'm weird with the way i talk. that's how i like to talk. so deal with it.

i've been playing a whole mumbo-jumbo of sims 3 lately! i've also been sleeping ultra late, these past few days. slept at 5am yesterday. HOLY BEATLE!! it's crazy i know. but that doesn't mean i'm crazy. so sir-ee.

well, it's not exactly out of the blue that i feel completely incompetent where my music is concerned. i get that feeling a lot. i'm afraid to admit that i am a very insecure person. it's not easy admitting that, but i've done it. and i just have to deal with it.

on a more positive note, here are some nice videos! totally random, i guess. been watching a lot of youtube lately (god forbid!) and i've come across quite a couple of awesome videos! here to share, and maybe make your day a little bit brighter! GOOD DAY, SUNSHINE! *bumbum-bumbum!*


Faith Hill's 'there you'll be'. beautiful song. a rendition i found on X factor's coming up soon...


amy connolly on X factor last year. she's so brilliant! GOD! so heart felt, made me tear. (; (cheryl cole is SO pretty!!)


another moving audition! danny evans is just such a sweet heart.. not the best singer, but such great character!


SUPER PRETTY!! and she's got such a great voice. woah....


SUPER DUPER DUPER ADORABLE PUPPY!!! it's just so cute how it's like trying to get up but can't. i just feel like picking him up and hugging him. (((:


looks like a fantastic show... wish i could watch it! :/


AMAZING OPENING FOR THE OSCARS!!! hugh jackman's 'the reader' dance was so erroneous and funny at the same time!! and anne hathaway is just such an amazing singer and so cool all at the same time. OH and both of them are so good looking. :D

and that's it for videos, folks. now i gotta study history.

good night!

 ok so i went to the flea market at emily hill with pf today. WOOHOO. it was freakin' awesome. i got 2 pairs of REALLY cute rings, one was $6 and the other was $2.50 i think. then i got a pair of really cool studs for $3, i think, all from one shop. then i got a nice little high waisted floral skirt for $10 at another stall. GREAT BUY. then, i got a vintage bag for $24 at another stall. VERY NICE. and... i also got my mom a blue bear for $2 from another stall selling nothing but toys. OH. one of my favourite buys of the day? i got a pearl bracelet AND necklace for $15. SUCH A GREAT BUY, RIGHT. at first, individually they were $8 and $10 respectively i think. then the seller sold both to me at a set price. worth it. and they look REALLY expensive. the necklace has this really pretty clasp on it. i love it to death.

there was however, one pair of studded gladiator kitten heeled shoes that i wanted but didn't get. :/ i can't help but regret it now! it was freakin' gorgeous. and i saw them selling for like $36 at far east, while they were $24 at the flea market. URGH. i wish i got it now. :/

but before the flea market, we dropped by far east plaza, where i got a BE-A-UTIFUL pair of pastel pink oxfords. ;DDDDDDDDDD from best of blogshops. i totally LOVE IT!!! i mean i seriously do. it's so awesome. a liiiiiittle more expensive (actually $30 is ok for oxfords, i think.) but it looks really pretty.

when i have time i'll take pictures. :DD i'm so happy, man! WEEEEE! i think i got quite a few great buys. i'm truly, a very very happy shopper. i want to go shop MORE though! i want to go to more flea markets and i want to go to salvation army.

OH and i went to ion orchard also. just went to one level, but MY GOODNESS. it is freakin' huge and confusing. just one level, and i was like totally lost. i want to go there though! looks cool. they have a MASSIVELY HUGE topshop (which i love) and river island, and arnold palmer, and i don't know what else i can't remember. BUT so cool. have to go. after o's. SO LONG. DDD;

oh, and i wanna go to daiso so that i can get a bigger transparent pencil case. the one the school gave was way too small.

going to east point tomorrow so i can buy stuff to make belated teachers' day presents. i think i'll go and study some chemistry before hand. i should try me best to salvage the situation, yes? i don't know how my chemistry dropped so much (i mean from last year's eoy to this year's moy and prelims), but i hope to SOLVE THE PROBLEM.

i wish i could enjoy my holidays, but i guess that the situation that i'm in disallows that.

it's really late. going to sleep.

so long, farewell.

 feeling very sleepy, and it's really late/early. i want to keep this quick.

i screwed my chemistry papers, congratulations to me....

honestly, i won't be surprised if i screw up my prelims, because i know that i didn't put the effort in. i mean, i was on the computer practically everyday. i was 100% slacking. i don't know what will become of my o levels. i'm scared. ):

but aside from school and grades (which is something i don't believe in.), today... i GOT MY BEATLES SHIRT!!! happppppyyyy!!!!!!!! it's so awesome. i love it so much. *melts*

ohoh, and i also have to say that i love that i played sims 3 today. HAPPINESS OVERLOAD. and oh, that's not all. i had very nice japanese food at tampines one, and i also had FROZEN YOGHURT! woohoo. happyhappy. totally neutralizes the disappointment of chemistry and everything.

the beatles revival is starting. i have mixed feelings about this.

one thing i love, is that HELLO. it's the beatles. that's awesome as it is. the new remastered cds, the fact that FINALLY people will realise that the beatles is so not old fashioned. and well, it's a celebration of all of their lives. gotta love that. and of course, with the revival, lotsa new material will be surfacing. lots of beatles news and exposure popping out lately.

the thing i HATE. is that with the beatles' revival, comes a lot of monetary exploitation. especially of loyal and dedicated beatles fans (like me) who loved them before the whole hoopla of the revival and the beatles rock band and the remastered cds was out. nope, we loved them before this hoopla. and because of our love, all these companies (that shouldn't even own the rights to ANY beatles material. only Apple Corps is legit, tyvm.) are exploiting our love and fandom by overpricing all this... merchandise! i mean LOOK AT THE PRICE OF THE LIMITED EDITION BEATLES ROCK BAND AND YOU'LL KNOW WHAT THE HECK I MEAN, DAMMIT. i hate this. music isn't expensive. it's priceless.

another thing i hate about this is that with their revival, you can bet a lot of posers will come out, pretending to love the beatles over their pop music because it's the 'cool' thing at the moment. want evidence that such posers exist? just look at michael jackson. before his death, everyone said he was crazy blahblahblah. after his death? they claim to have had loved him all their lives. I HATE POSERS!!! URGH. disgusting people with no personality.

and what's worse is that, i think it's just so demeaning for people to like and learn about the beatles through a VIDEO GAME before they've actually listened to their music. i still remember the first beatles video i ever watched. it was their help music video. was hooked ever since. but with the beatles rock band, people will play the game first and think 'hey these beatles people aren't half bad...'. so the medium through which they learn about the beatles is a GAME? seriously? with virtual versions of the boys? i hate it! it's so demeaning for them. they deserve more than that... they deserve people to appreciate their music first!

maybe i'm over protective, but what fan wouldn't? these are the beatles here. their FREAKIN' LEGENDS! they deserve so much more... for john and george... for paul and ringo...

ARGH. i don't know, my emotions are in a whirl. maybe it's the sleepy talking. but i've been mulling over this issue since i heard about the plan to remaster the beatles CDs last year. at first i was certain i didn't want to get it, because i mostly hate what digital shit does to music these days, but when i saw all the new pictures of them in the remastered beatles box set... couldn't help it. SEE! total exploitation.

all they want is money, man. they've forgotten about the most important thing... THE MUSIC.

TGIF!!

seriously, i really thank THE HEAVENS that the end of the school week has COME. woah shit. i really need this break, man. like seriously.

it's not that i've been overworking myself, really i haven't T^T just need a break from the STRESS rather than the workload-which is pratically nothing.

yeah thanks.

i'm going to keep this short, because i can feel my cranky meter rising since i'm getting sleepy. and when i get cranky, the post gets cranky, you get cranky, your friends get cranky etcetcetc. you get the idea.

folks, beware of the cranky meter!

the past few days have involved nothing but exams, so i guess i'll pick up where i left off.

TUESDAY:
Elect. History paper: I don't know... feel kinda apprehensive about it. i can never be completely sure about humanities.

WEDNESDAY:
Emath Paper 2: TONS better than amath, knew most (but i may be wrong about that) and didn't know a couple. i think i can pass, but i'm not sure about an A. have to count on paper 1...
Chemistry Paper 2: was kinda hard, had A TON OF ORGANIC chem. i either knew how to do it and did it right or thought i knew how to do it and actually did it wrong. i don't know, i'm gonna have to work hard on paper 1, and on biology, more importantly.

THURSDAY:
English paper 2: kinda screwed, buddies! i answered alot of questions wrongly. i think. should be. i better pray that i didn't really screw up my paper 1. if my english is screwed, i can bid my L1R5 <10 goodbye.

FRIDAY:
Amath paper 1: MUCHMUCH better than paper 2, i knew alot more questions. or maybe i thought i knew, but really didn't. i hope i did know. am i confusing you? because i'm starting to confuse myself...
Elit Paper 2: Ok. the passage based question was UBER hard. got me dumbstruck for a while. i think i screwed that part up. frankly i'm not too confident about section 1 either, because my points seemed a little warped. studied for characters, but ended up doing themes. wow, tricia. freakin' amazing...

OUTSIDE OF EXAMS, i cooked an omelette today! i overcooked it for like 5 seconds, completely lost that smooth texture which comes with the perfect omelette. shitty. i just ate eggs that looked like an omelette. genius. *so not.*

but good thing about today, is that i managed to get to writing some songs! wrote 2 and a quarter today, i'm pretty happy about that. thing about songwriting, for me, is that at the moment, it seems real nice, but when i listen to it later i'll be like *what the hell was I THINKING?!*. so if i don't get that, maybe it's a good song. i haven't gone back to them so i can't say just yet.

i haven't written lyrics for the songs yet, though. i only got the melody down. the troublesome thing is, that my piano is down stairs, and composing is just made doubly difficult because of that. i promise, i will buy a keyboard to plug in so i can use garage band more efficiently. it's so difficult to compose in my current predicament. ok, maybe more so troublesome than anything in the world.

I would get down to lyrics, but i'm feeling tired, and i prefer to write lyrics with an instrument at hand so that i can you know see how it fits. i'd use my guitar, but because i'm so unfamiliar with names of guitar chords, it's just easier to compose on the piano. ok.. i don't know how to explain it. i know how to play that chord on guitar, but i don't remember the name of the chord, so if you were to ask me to play more complicated chords (say B# minor 7) out of the blue, i wouldn't know which chord to use. on the piano, well i know, so it's easier in that sense.

get it? oh well.

Maybe you don't want to read about my musings of song writing... if you do, well it's hyperlinked. haha my 'bombastic' temporary lyrics are there. no duh, dudes...

( the rainbow connection )

adieu, adieu, adieu!

 alright. i can't believe it's been so long since my last post! (well, long for me, at least. shut up!)

the exams haven't been particularly satisfactory. i haven't been studying like i should. i don't know what's wrong with me!!! WAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPPPP!!!

this is crazy! the prelims, but this is THE most slack i've ever been for an exam. i mean, no joke. at least for MYE's, i wouldn't be lazing around the house. i'd be trying to chiong study. now... *sigh*.

SO HOW WERE THE EXAMS!?

thursday:
EL paper1, think i wrote an out of point story. suck shit, man.
CL paper1, don't even bother. screwed up!!! don't count on passing.

friday:
SS paper: i don't know what to think. Up in the air i guess. managed to finish everything, but i'm not too sure about SBQ.
ORALS: FREAKIN' SCREWED!!!! the examiner kept telling me to quieten down (i swear i tried my best, but i can't help it that my default voice is super loud. D:), the picture was bad, convo wasn't as awesome as usual. Shucks. nothing's going right.

monday:
AMATH paper2: OH MY GOSH I'VE NEVER HAD A WORST PAPER IN MY WHOLE LIFE!!! seriously, i didn't know how to do PRACTICALLY EVERY QUESTION. no doubt about it, i'm failing this one. miserable, epic fail. 100% SURE, MY FRIENDS. i have never been more certain of a fail in my life. about 40 mins left, last few questions, felt like stopping because I knew i was going to fail either way, but finished it off anyway. had about 20 mins left (first time for amath paper.), spent it contemplating my fail. i've never been more calm about failing! i mean, i just knew that i was done for. So i came to terms with it and calmly waited for time to be up. yet another first. i usually spend my time left checking work. didn't even bother this time. 2 WORDS=EPIC. FAIL.

ELIT paper1: ok, i don't know what to think either. as usual, it's up in the air, could go either way. i rushed section B in like 30+ minutes. doubt i'll do well in section B. screwed up, man...

tuesday:
HISTORY paper: i don't know how it'll go. i hope i study the right things and apply it correctly.

wish me luck, everyone.

ADIEU!

been feeling slightly philosophical today, as usual.

i don't know if i told you about the story we had to write during class on thursday! the topic was entertainment, and haha i was struck with an idea the moment i saw it! i'm going to put it below, so if you wanna read it... just click away! haha, i got 27/30 for it. O.O surprise surprise! i thought it was some kind of terrible after writing it, felt like the story didn't flow quite as i'd liked it to.

anyway onto my philosophy!

they say everyone has a talent, but you know that set me thinking. if everyone has a different, specific talent, why does it seem like everyone is so, so normal? is it because they supress their talents? is it because they ignore it? is it because they haven't acknowledged it?

and if we all have special talents, then why are we all learning the same thing, at the same pace? are you trying to tell me that the education system denies our talents? so many questions, eh...

and you know i couldn't help but think this. is it possible to be better than another person at the same talent? say 2 people are both talented in...running. so of course it's possible to be better than someone at the same talent, yes?

i kinda think that's a bit of a sad thing, you know. you're already talented, but you're still not THE best. maybe the best in your school or something, but on a national or global scale, you're just like another ordinary person! your talent, no longer seems like a talent.

that seems like such a... golly i can't even put a word to it. it's just sad, sad news, i think. maybe that's why people choose not to go and attend to their talents. what's the point, right?

but i think it's because of that that everyone is a normal, mundane, unoutstanding person! i don't want to be like that, and i'm sure neither do you. i'm not actually sure what my talent is, i still don't know for sure. maybe i've already shown it, but haven't realised that that is THE talent, you know. and you probably haven't too.

i suppose that everyone does have a talent, so it's not very fair to say a certain person is untalented. you gotta say untalented in WHAT, right?

maybe a few people have multiple talents, i don't know.

bottom line, is you gotta pay attention to your talent once you've found it. some people can go on their entire lives without realising their talent. that's sad. so once you find your talent, don't throw it aside, you gotta nurture it, and make it an advantage you know. use it to your best ability. of course, i believe talent can be bred too, but it's just not the same as NATURAL talent. that's like that little edge, me thinks. of course, i suppose that you have to seperate TALENT and PASSION. these are 2 very different ball games. i mean, you could be seriously talented at something, but not passionate about it. breed your talent, but it doesn't HAVE to become your passion.

i think that the true talents of the world, the ones that stand out, are those with both natural talent and the willingness to breed it, of course coupled with passion for that.

i'm scared that i'll never realise what my talent is. i think i'll feel like a real nutshell if i don't find out what that little gift i was given is. that'll be sad, right? it's like someone giving you a brilliant present, and you not realising that it was a present and that it is a BRILLIANT present, you know what i mean?

just asking, what's your talent? comment and tell, tyvm!! :D

and as promised (i don't care if you want to read it or not.), here's the story i wrote for class.

( let's hear it for dennis o'bell! )

haven't blogged in quite a while!

how amazing is that!! *gasp*

lately i still haven't been studying as much as i would've liked to. i'm struggling to write the bloody essay that my teacher asked me to write for the Reader's Digest Writing competition, or something other like that. the topic is just so cliched and perfect that i could puke! seriously, i hate writing cliched stories (though sometimes that does happen) and somehow, the idea of someone beating someone a million times better through sheer drive seems so impossible. not completely, but highly unlikely.

ahh you probably don't get what i'm talking about. no matter. i'll try to keep this quick, because i feel like i'm beginning to doze off and i have to finish off that story.

the Mac Help people are coming to fix my Mac tomorrow!! AWESOME. seriously, this is great. i really hope they can get it fixed!

uhhh. today went to swensens to go celebrate alvin's birthday with the gang+teri+venus+rizvan. LOTSA PEOPLE. kinda crazy. paying the bill was a bitch!! spent so long trying to split the sum. o.o

haha was surprised by a VERY belated birthday present from them! was actually kinda expecting a beatles related thingy, but got a 3 in 1 hair set instead (because one time, i complained about my Q hair.) plus some hair nourishment things. LOL. i have a feeling i won't use it (i am way too scared off scalding myself to use the flat iron) but still, it's the thought that counts, aye. soooo.... THANK YOU, MY DEARS. ;D

apart from that, i haven't been the luckiest person in the world! for one, all my tests have been REALLY badly done. not a single topper! ): sorry but i just have a very big ego that needs feeding. where are all my a1s! the only test result i'm happy about is hcl, got a b3. but i failed my zuo wen. -.- thanks alot....

as i was saying, my amaths test (freakin' b3/4!! D:), english (a2), history (b3 WTH. D;), chem (JUST PASS. -.-), bio (a2)?!?!?!?! WHYYYYY. my prelims are next week and my grades are this bad. i am so going to do badly for prelims. in the first place, i don't feel ready. i guess i can wave bye bye to my 1-2 weeks break! ):

i hate this. this is making me feel more scared for o levels. DAMN IT!

i hate adolescence. i think i'm going to hate adulthood more. i wish i could be 4 again. happy times. not that i remember them, but i suppose it was because i was just too carefree.

one of the worst things is that i have to put off getting my electric les paul. and learning to play the bass. UGH. but i guess these can wait.

i really have an itch to make little handicrafts though. like friendship bracelets and anklets. came across this beads shop at tampines. was FREAKING AWESOME. i love the stuff! so many cute looking vintage pendants. i'm so going there after my o levels!

butbutbut i hate that post o level break is so damn short. ):

and lakerol lychee flavour is super tasty.

i'm feeling sad.

do you want to know why?

i don't care if you said no, i'm gonna tell you anyway. so look away if you REALLY don't want to know. *temptation is SUCH a crazy bug, dudes.*

i didn't study today. and yesterday. )))))))));

i feel so TERRIBLE. and so guilty. and so worried. and i'm still here. WHAT THE HECK IS MY PROBLEM. :/

the only good thing about yesterday is that i went jogging! :D and i mapped out a fail-proof, sure-jog-all-the-way, no-chance-for-me-not-getting-any-exercise-route. :D it is DAMN long. or at least i think it is. and because it's like at the main road, my inflated ego will stop me from walking. TAKE THAT BLAHBLAH. oh if i'll just get my jogging shoes out....

back to the topic.

since i didn't study my full 8 hours this pass few days, i have decided that i shall simply have to load up tomorrow and saturday. and everyday next week. HENCE no going out for lunch whatsoever. or i will DIE. ok not literally but you get what i mean.

i'd totally pass my com to my mom, but there's still some transactions i haven't settled. GRRR. i wish that they'd hurry up and deal with themselves. :/

today went to school completely clad in red and white. i'm so patriotic (on the surface) right. and i was clapping and singing along during the songs. and the choir's rendition of home was FREAKIN' AWESOME, DUDES. seriously, gave me GOOSEBUMPS. ahh. that good. i mean it's a good song as it is man. they took a good song to a WHOLE OTHER LEVEL DUDES. talk about coo-ol-ness.

tree planting after that. OK uuuhhhhhh all sec 4 classes got a tree. hurray! good for the environment. but the trees were super lousy. COME OOOOON. their xylemstem vessels are bloody thin! anorexic trees! couldn't they get something a liiiiiiiittle more sturdy. and what worse! there was one tree with like 5 leaves on it. -.- seriously?! couldn't they pick leafier trees. or do they just like baldness. i mean, if i went to one of those nurseries, i'd pick a nice LEAFY tree. who picks a bald tree? someone who is on a very tight budget.

aka anglican high school. thanks a lot man.... won't be surprised if the tree dies when its few leaves fall off. but i hope it won't! D: ok maybe i sound like i'm unappreciative. i am fine with the idea of planting trees! it's good for the earth! but wouldn't it be more PRACTICAL to get a leafy shrub/tree? come on, practicallity, here!

then i went to eat lunch @BK with teriiiii! :D talked quite a lot! mostly about TV i think. and OMG OZZY OSBOURNE IS DISGUSTING. ): he bit off a dove's neck. and he shot 17 cats. and he did something else. makes me sad too. )): no wonder his family is screwed up man..... *shakes head* the idea of being satanic and demonic is freaky.

why can't the world be happy and peaceful? because the world just isn't perfect.

and i've been wanting to get on to the main subject! am i patriotic?! my answer?!

no, i am not patriotic.

( why i'm not patriotic )
oh, and i won't be updating so regularly in future, so if you're REALLY desperate *which i doubt anyone is* to find out how i'm doing, you can go check out my twitter at www.twitter.com/vinylbeatles

ok. so i'm really supposed to be studying right now, but thought i'd squeeze in a short post.

i've been reading fanfictions later! :D mostly harry potter ones. DRAMIONE! haha go figure what that means. :D i love this couple, man. and some of the writers on fanfiction are REALLY REALLY good. i came across one, called teenage angst. dramione, duh. go look for it! can't remember the name of the writer, but i think she was english. aweeesome.

i haven't been studying recently. UGH. i hate it i hate it i hate it. so many lousy distractions. i have GOT to get rid of this lousy computer.

well it isn't exactly lousy, but you get my drift.

i love twitter! gonna sign up for tweet.sg someday. ;D

ok. i'm ending this post here. yes it is short. i kep my word.

so long, farewell!

today was a busy day!

although i'm super sad that i got zero studying today. ):

was out most of today! went straight to my uncle's house to have lunch and celebrate my ah gong's 78/79th birthday! i'm not sure which exactly, though.

after that went to look for a photo studio and stopped by at a bazaar held at red dot museum again, to support my cousin in law once again. i got a ton of earrings-once again! haha awesoooome. i got these really cute food-themed clay earrings. there's bread, bahzhang, dou sha bing and char siew bao! does it sound like i'm reciting a menu or something?! -.- haha ok that was me being supremely lame! excuse me while i barf. *barf* photos in the link below! (:

just a note, her website is www.hadasity.com if i'm not wrong. frankly i think her (my c-i-l) designs are really intricate! a bit mature for me, but still! very... different! in a good way, not a bad way, mind you. not something you'd see elsewhere. haha go see! :DD

ahem. then i went home, changed and went off for dinner to celebrate my ahgong's birthday somemore! (: this time there was a lot more food-and cake! coffee cake, but still cake. i don't really like coffee.... :/

i shall study double tomorrow! and there're 2 'holidays' coming up, i'll study super alot on those days. i feel like such a mugging machine. o.o but studies are important!

even though honestly speaking i don't really want to work under anybody, i prefer being free of restraints instead. i mean i guess if i really can't earn any money in future i'll take up journalism but that's just a back up plan. i still want to be a musician! (that's why i really hope that i don't succeed in getting the humanities scholarship*)

*small note: ss teacher (mrs law? i'm not sure how to spell her surname.) asked me to go for a tea session for an moe humanities scholarship. those kinds that have a bind (say a couple of years) to the government after i graduate from university. to be completely truthful i don't want to be bound to the government, but i just want to give it a shot, you know. for experience and such.*

as i was saying, i really want to be a musician. that's the dream, i suppose. to do the thing i love most in my life for a living? that would be the greatest present in the world. and what i want more is to be able to you know make a person, a complete stranger, just one person smile with my music. GOSH that would bring me the greatest satisfacition in the world. that would be like completion. the greatest pinacle.

of course, i've also considered being a writer. i've always had a million stories flying around in my head. day dreams and such. sometimes i translate it out in song but other times in writing. frankly i think song writing is a combination of my two loves. writing and music. awesome! i think if i could be a musician for a living, that would make me truly happy. and i guess happy is more important than money a lot of the time.

i know that being a musician is impractical and stuff but i'm willing to go through the tough times. but before that, i still think an education is very important. incredibly important. and that's what i want to do first.

i mean, everyone has a dream right? i don't want to end up like those sad people who give up their dreams and live in regret for the rest of their lives. i may not be the most talented person in the world -heck i know that well enough- but i still don't want to have to say 'what if' later on.

then again maybe it's a bit early to say.

anyway! i said there'll be pictures, and here they are!

( we're sergeant pepper's lonely hearts club band )

that's about it folks! it's pretty late, i don't think i can get any studying done. urgh. double tomorrow!!!!

p.s. i really have an itch to go shopping. T^T damn you, o levels!

so i've been studying lately!

my chiong studying started... uhm i don't know when. but i think it studied on either monday or tuesday! from then till thursday i studied 4 hours everyday! :D of course with the exception of wednesday, when i studied 6 hours and friday when i took a break.

i studied for like 6 hours straight yesterday! hate that i didn't reach my quota of 8 hours. GAH.

i didn't stick to my quota today either. D: going to try to salvage the situation a bit later....

I AM NOT STUDYING ENOUGH!!!

garh. i wish i had more time to study. call me crazy but now i kinda look forward to studying. O.O because i've been banning myself from anything fun, the only thing i actually can do is study.

AM I LOSING MY MIND?!

the tests this past week were mostly badly done, i have a bad feeling about them. :/ history sbq test on tuesday.

plan to study history and ss later.

did i mention? i took DAMN long to study nutrition in humans yesterday. MY GOD IT IS ONE FREAKISHLY LONG CHAPTER. there where so many subpoints! each respective organ (which is quite a lot) each had a couple of subpoints. took up most of my studying time yesterday. -.- so in a sense i got very little done yesterday.

bio is so irritating to study sometimes! the chapter is either damn bloody long or super short. is there no moderation?!

i want to finish studying everything 2 weeks before prelims. HOW TO. there's almost no way for me to accomplish that. so how about studying finish everything by prelims. that seems feasible. then i get like 60 days to revise and do sbqs, seqs, tys, comprehensions etc like crazy.

GOOD. that shall be my goal.

uuuhmmm. has there been anything fun happening in my life so far? not much, but there's SOME!

yesterday, after my mugging i went to celebrate my dad's bday at BIG FISH SEAFOOD GRILL. that place has some of the best food EVER. it's at siglap. my uncle and his wife joined us! i ate my favourite fish and chips. mmmm. super good. that place sells the BEST calamari, seriously. LOVELY.

and all the deserts there rock my socks. i love the brownie, the chocolate souffle, the creme brulee (?)... all superb. OH and they have great pasta too. i don't eat lamb, but apparently they have really good lamb shank. it's not a franchise, just a quaint little restaurant. love it. my family eats there pretty often actually. like almost one a month? can't help it, the food's awesome.

on friday i went to tampines with peifang and jiaxin and ate macs with joan too. SEAWEED SHAKER FRIES ARE BACK!! love it! :D then we went to hunt for my dad's bday present. bought a couple of stuff along the way.

now, if you will excuse me, i have to go study.

AND YOU SHOULD TOO. :D